random

assalamualaikum..hmmm..lame x update blog coz i thought noting could be write out..but then,arini rase nak tulis gak pape ponn..hmmm..nak flashback blk ah..stat dgn final last sem.dekat2 final tu,memang aku rase hepy gle..tension tu mmg la tension..tapi bile dah jumpe geng yang mcm ngam sket, mmg hilang tros ar tension..rase kadang cam aku nak final ke x nih???coz geng aku ni mmg on je..so i named it as GO(geng on???)..aku blh masok la ngan diorg coz diorg suke makan..coz aku memang x leh resistla ape2 yang involve ngan makanan.memang dekat2 final tu,banyak je kedai makan yang ktorg try..sampai bapak aku tanye,"long buat ape ngan duit abah bagi???cepat bonar abihnye??"aku cakap ar,"makan bah,btol,x de bende laen..makan je..."pastu stiap hal yang aku buat,mesti cakap dulu ah abah aku..nak g sane, nak g sini,everythings are in details.sampaikan satu tahap tu, die let go je..die cakap asal aku x masok lokap or wat hal je...ade ke camtu???but, that is one thing i like about him.he trust me..kadang2 lebih dari orang laen..kawan sndri pun kadang2 x caye ngan judge burok2 pasal kite(ade aku kesah??)..abah aku sendiri pun caye kat kat aku,ko ap e hal nak judge2 org???ko tu baek sangat ke angellic sgt ke???haaa..kan dah emo:/..tapi in conclusion,as long as my parents believe in me,i dont care what other people say or think about me..coz susah senang kite parents ade,tapi kawan(some of them la eh,bukan semua)..bile senang, same2, bile susah,sorang2 ah..that what had happened to me before..malas nak cakap..:/..biar ah..hmmm..lps final plak, aku memang berserah la result camne..calculus 1 tu ntah pape aku jawab..n yang len2 nye..dgn ade sedikit konflik plak dengan kawan2..konflik ke??diorg x de cakap pon diorang x puas hati or marah pasal ape..haha..but to me, as long as diorg x tanye n clarify betol2 ngan aku tentang ape yang diorg x puas hati, buat ape aku gatal2 nak jawab soalan yang tak ditanye n gatal2 nak touching2??buat pening je..ala, manusia..salah sndri x nampak,salah org laen,cepat je potpet potpet..for example,bile kite tgk couple pegang2,dok dekat2 semua tu.tipu ah lau tak terdetik kat hati kite yang kite x suke tengok.aku mengaku,aku pon cam tu(name pon manusia)tapi kite x tau,contohla,kite tercouple nanti..ntah2 lagi trok dari tu..n mungkin kite x terprasan kite pon dah jadi cam couple2 yang laen..sebab manusia memang jarang sangat nampak salah sendiri,sebab tu la ade pepatah yang "kalau salah,tolong tunjukkan;)"ni peringatan kat diri sndri jugak ye!:)...fullstop.berbalik kepade result next sem,alhamdulillah to Allah SWT.coz mengabulkan doa..aku rase maybe doa aku lambat sket termakbul coz dosa2 yang menghalang kemakbulan doa tu..ni bagi aku laa,hanye Allah je yang tau..alhamdullillah,first time ever aku dapat dean list..tapi sipi2 je.aku rase mmg tertebuslah kekecewaan last sem coz last sem aku mampu dapat 2.5++ je..aku bersyukur sangat..thanx jugak to dr love aku.die yang bagi aku byk tips..ade satu ayat die tu"study sket, but then dapat banyak..you dont have to study all things in universe, but then at last,lupe semua n bercelaru je idea tu"thanx dr love!ure the best ever!;)..parents aku happy sangat time tau tu,including my grandparents(sampai dapat lappy free satu gi..haha,thanx mok!;))hmmm...shortsem ni ok la,best la gak.tapi x best last sem coz anis x de.shes my heart,my motivator,my catalyst,she is everything to me.x penah jumpe kawan yang susah senang same.love u babe!;)..since die x de time shortsem,memang agak x de life la aku..x leh menyengal sangat!huhu...exam nye pressure pon aku x rase.bahaye jugak x de pressure nih..haha..ni la jadinye.MALAS!:(..but then,aku hope sangat nasib aku akan jadi lagi baik dari smalam..target sem nih,plg rendah pon 2 subjek tu dapat A-(insyaAllah..)nak bagi abah happy lagi;)

plz say NO!

why i dont have strength to say NO to people??why??ade la skali 2 cakap TIDAK.or TAK NAK.but then,x mmg rase cam jahat gle.huhuhuhu..why eh?adakah aku x normal?or nak dekat time period??huhuhu..hurmm..maybe la kot..jadi cam emo and sensitive smacam je nih+homesick lagi+org x reti bahasa lagi+jadi committee secara pakse lagi.panas2!woah...i want my normal life back!nothing else.just me,n myself most of the time.i love to be alone(x slalu lah jgk coz takot la kalo mlm2 dok sorg..huhu)..i want to waste time as usual(ade ke?)hurmm..entah la blalang..sometimes,people can give pressure to you..hey man,ingat dunia ni pressure cooker ke huh???aku rase nak tgk laut je skang,tapi skang ni cam bahaye je nk g tgk laut..huhuhu..cam musim tengkujuh plak..but then,seriously,it is not me.ke effect homesick nih??huhuhu..hurm..entah la:(

why??

why cant i forget you?why mr S???nak kate satu course pun x.nak jumpe??haram!lately mmg x nampak batang idung pun..huhu..but why feeling aku kat die ni cam fresh je..fresh??ah,lantak ar aku nak gne ape =p.ye la,jumpe x,terserempak pun x.tapi asal la aku still ade hati lagi kat die.maybe bcoz of his behavior towards people?his politeness??kindness??cuteness??(damn cute.comel.kecik.eye smile.sweet smile)haha..x kan muke die ade iras junho kott...tapi ade la skett..sepet!i like~~..eww..menggedix plak..=p..ermm,seriously,nape la aku still ade hati ngan ko wahai mr s sedangkan ade yang lebih berhak untuk aku cintai iaitu,the creator,Allah SWT.yup,it is normal actually when someone fall in love or "what ever under the sun",they tend to forget or less appreaciate la about people that lagi berhak kite sayangi..contoh paling dekat la kan,ble dah cintan2 ni,x msg sehari tu punye la rase bagai stahun..tapi kalau x msg parent shari tu rase cam"ala,esok2 la"..tipu la lau x rase camtu..coz aku penah kott=(..how fool,silly and"what ever under the sun"am i.suke ati la nak describe ape asalkan seangkatan dengannya..ermm..seriously,saye mau lupekan awak MR S!but not by hating you..you just to good to be true..eh?erm,watever..but my aim to cut(tapi boleh paste lagi=))you in my diary(ade pun x)..."whatever under the sun"*sigh T_T
tapi cam kene plak ngan lirik ni..copy paste je la=)

I haven't slept at all in days
It's been so long since we've talked
And I have been here many times
I just don't know what I'm doing wrong

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

There's only so much I can take
And I just got to let it go
And who knows I might feel better
If I don't try and I don't hope

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

No more waiting, No more aching
No more fighting, No more trying

Maybe there's nothing more to say
And in a funny way I'm calm
Because the power is not mine
I'm just gonna let it fly

What can I do to make you love me
What can I do to make you care
What can I say to make you feel this
What can I do to get you there

Love me..

alhamdulillah=)

alhamdulillah,all thanks to Allah for giving me happiness.i love u Allah=)..ill try my best to be better muslim in this world and hereafter..Allah maha pengampun dan maha pengasih..really thankful coz i still get what i pray for even ive done many sinful things as a human and muslim..thank u Allah=)..alhamdulillah

a day with my forever man=)

wahhhh!!!!!!! sgt happy hari ni..nape?this is all bcoz of my most handsome man in this world.yup,hari ni die dtg kuantan.saye sgt happy..oh happy happy day*my girl soundtrack*ermmm...lps klas tadi,aku,pah n syara cam biase la kan.pergi ternak lemak kat cafe.aku makan nasi ayam.tibe-tibe, nokia red-blackberry aku bebunyi..aku pun angkat la..die ckp dah sampai..wowowowowowo...hepy3..tapi kan,aku x start makan g.then,aku pun rushing la pegi cari kete kat luar cafe..die sesat!ade ke.uia pun leh sesat..pastu aku pun nampak la MAK 1479..confirm!its him!;).then,aku cakap la aku baru nk stat makan ngan kawan,then die cakap malu la plak.nanti die je laki kat kafe tu.aku pun yang memang dah niat nak makan luar ni pn stuju je(ble lagi kan??)hehe..then,aku pun tapau balik nasi ayam tu since x de sape nak tolong makan(semua jage badan ye!)pastu,aku pun naik la MAK.pastu die tanye aku nak makan mane.then,aku pun suggest la restoren kat TC.die tanye, x jauh ke?walaupun aku dah tau TC agak jauh,tapi aku cakap"x jauh pun"..huhu..jahat jugak..but actually,my intention is nak cari temapat yang boleh lepak2 lepas makan.so,Tc is best choice la.then,pegi la ikot jalan blakang.aku maen redah je sbenanye.x penah pun tunjuk jln tu kat org len before this.pastu dalam kete tu dok borak2 la..macam2 cte kuar.sampai je kat TC,ingat nak makan kat restoren yg aku,anis,lana n ama makan hari tu,tapi tutup plak.ape la restoren ni,org nk bg untung die plak tutup.haish!:(.pastu terpaksela makan gerai biase je.aku ingat nak makan ikan siakap la kan..wuihh..kne melebih-lebih sket ngan my men ni.lepas makan tu,ktorg pun borak2 kat bench yg ade dekat depan toilet tc tu.asal la aku x prasan blakang tu toilet.last2 baru sdar.seb baek x mengadap toilet..huhu..lau tak,x lalu nk duduk pun.kitorg borak2 sambil makan chikadees tau..;)first time aku rase sgt selesa nk meluahkan prasaan kat die.maybe sbb ktorg bdua je kott time tu:).pastu,die ajak nak balik..tapi nak balik mane??hahaha...then ktorg decide la nak stay je kat TC.aku sgt hepy coz my decision nak g makan kat tc tu sgt tepat.tgk,boleh lepak skali.tapi die cakap mengantuk sangat sebab drive dari pagi tadi.then,lau nak sewa hotel cam x worth la kan?lepas tu aku bagi la aku punye spontaneous idea."tdo je la kat atas rumput tepi pokok depan pantai tu".guess what,he's agreed!im soooo happy.never thought that die sangat la slambe badak cam aku gak!haha..thats why i love u;).since rumput tu agak licin n tempat tu pun senget sket,looks like he cant sleep well.but then he tries..;)while he was sleeping,aku lah kne jadi guard kan!cheh bajet2 ade six pack la nak jadi guard nih*tetibe je six pack*agak lame die tdo.about half an hour camtu..tengah2 menjalankan tugas sebagai guard nih,boring la plak mak aih..seb baek ade bwk buku note kecik n pensil.aku pun yang x de kesenian langsung ni pun stat la melukis.i do drawing?????!!!.pelik tapi benar ye!;)

then,ble die bangun je,die mintak tolong aku belikan McD*tlg beli je,ongkos phm2 la ye!hehe..aku suke!aku pun dengan patuhnye jalankan tugas sebagai despatch McD plak..haha.n bcoz i love him so much,i bought him BigMc. i want him to be happy by eating large set of BigMc tapi actually bende tu x elok,tapi skali skala halal je la kan?.Then,makan2 jap depan pantai tu,pastu ktorg gerak la ke bandar kuantan.pegi kedai aksesori kete coz want to fix MAK nye radio.rupe2nye speaker rosak.n mahal jugak la nak tukar.then,die cakap nanti balik bulan 4 la baiki balik.INSYAALLAH..but i cant promise u..hehe..btol la, xde radio..camne aku nak idop??ade kne mengene ke?then,lepas tu g la terminal.singgah kat terminal tomyam dlu.minum2.then,hah sudah,die jumpe geng plak..memang seantero dunia la die ade kawan.bcoz he's soo peramah.n thats another reason why i lovee u much!;)..dah,x layan aku la ble cakp ngan geng.siap dok meja len g.tinggalkan aku kat meja blakang.huhuhuhu..*seb baek geng die support minum.x de la aku nk bengang sgt.haha..lepas meeting ngan geng2 die tadi,kitorg naek la atas terminal tu,nak solat.after solat tu,pegi amek jaket die yang tetinggal kat dalm kete.then,lepak2..cakap bende2 sweet..die tanye aku,balik ble?aku cakap la maybe tgh bln 4 la.then die pun tanye aku.."so,1 march ni xde kat umah la?"sambil tersengih2 sengih.."1 march???"lepas tu baru aku ingat yang birthday die 1 march..apela..dah berumur pun xcited g pasal birtday2 nih..and this is another reason i love so muchhhtake note,dah reason yang ke brape ni..hehe..muah2..pastu turun la kat bawah terminal tu.bas pun nak gerak,die cakap nak naik bas dulu.die suh aku balik dulu coz time tu dah nak dekat kul 7 dah.pastu aku pun pergi la tanpa pandang blakang.Allah je tau perasaan aku time tu....saaangat SEDIHH;)..rase macam x cukup je spend time ngan die slame hampir shari ni..sangat sedih..ABAH,i really love u,miss u so much!kalau boleh x nak abah balik lagi hari ni.ingat boleh la die stay lame sket cni tapi esok die ade keje plak:(.sdeh..i cant stop my tears while writing this post.seriously,aku x penah rase happy camni slame ni.just abah ngan aku je hari ni.doing everything together. bedosela kan lau aku cakap"aku x sanggup kehilangan die"tapi seriously, i cant lose him.so,the thing that i can do now is to pray for him.hope that he is in best of health and panjang umo.i love u abah.my love to you is infinity.i miss u.i miss your smile, i miss your voice,i really reallly miss you..saye takkan jumpe abah yang sporting and sangat happy go lucky like you.abah jare sangat maroh ore.most of the time,u are so supportive.i love you abah;).i still cant stop crying right now:(

finally,..the end

ooopss..x the end lagi..baru lps midsem..huahua..camne la leh tringat plak psl nk mengupdate blog ble tgh dgr lagu miss a nih.hehe..erm..lot things happened lately.erm..let me see..to start with,before midsem break hari tu,saye mangalami tekanan perasaan terhadap pengajian saya*btol kah grammar ni=(..so,bising2 cakap kat org yg aku ni nak tukar kos..boleh dikatakan most of my chingu cam sedih jugak dengar but then diorg x de plak nak paksa jgk aku stay cni.yup,thats why i love u guys.such a very good friends.semua hanya mendoakan yang terbaek untuk aku walaupun dimana aku berada nanti*ayat x leh blah..5pm, i love u guys so much lah!muah3;).even my family pun sometimes try to decide things for me.now, aku paham ape kadang2 org cakap kawan lagi understanding compared to even our parents.but depends la kawan tu kawan camne kan.so,aku pun dgn excitednye drop algebra and bm!why bm???coz im not yet ready for bahasa melayu.fullstop.does it makes sense?poyo!slame ni ko cakap bahase ape huh??abih la 6 RAT*budget shopping kne cut 2 ratus sbulan=(.i think it is one of the right things ive made by dropping algebra coz lau x,possibility nk fail tu 98%=(.but then,right after midsem break hari tu,pegi la jumpe lecturer qs kat gombak.coz before this im planning to change kuliyyah to KAED.but then,ble dah jumpe lecturer tu,and dgr explanation panjang lebar dari die sendiri,ermmmmm.. i think i have to think several times lgi before decide ape2.n skang,ive decided that SAYE X KAN TUKAR KOS,whatever happens in the future,ill never give up to give maths a shot!yeah!!!!!!I LOVE MATHS A LOTTTT;)..insyaAllah..i really do hope that this is the right decision.hope that Allah will help me to go through the challenges that ill face in the future.and now,i really appreciate my uncle's advice"sesusah mane pun bende tu,lau orang lain boleh buat,nape kak yah x leh buat?and in about 70++cts student tu,x semua yang betol2 minat maths.so,dont ever use "saye x minat maths" as the excuse to change course"cam cinta jugak,tetibe plak..sebenci mane pun kte dgn org tu,tapi ble dah lame kenal..kebaikan die mesti terspill jugak..coz,x semua org selalu jahat n x semua org selalu baek.same gak ngan maths.x semua subject maths susah..mesti ade yang u can cope with.IM TRYING TO BE +VE HERE YE!.yes,i can do it!if orang lain boleh buat,x kan la aku x boleh.aku ni orang jugak.bukan orang utan.haha..tetibe tringat junho ckp orang utan..eh,melalut plak..aku akan try survive in cts.plus dgn semua kawan2 yg SGT SUPPORTIVE that ive now, think i can really survive here;).mlas plak nak menaip..anyong!

kawen pakse

warggggggghhhhhhhh!!!!tensyennye aku..nape la tensyen cam ni skali..seyes,aku rase cam x idop je.plizzz laa..kawen pakse tu satu,nk kne survirve dlm marriage ni,ya Allah,punyelah susah.but nothing easy in this mean world!hahaha..cakap senang laa..aku rase cycle idop aku same je.bgn pagi,tanpa memikirkan mase depan.mandi,n then pegi klas..lau klas bm tu menarik la jugak.coz ade sir chow kok kee..die sgt comel;)..tapi ble je sampai je klas core course aka husbands yg aku kne kawen pakse,memang..pergghhhh..pening!actually salah aku coz x pandai nk adapt some situation ngan cepat.contoh la kan,sem ni aku kne study style lain plak.PROBLEM BASED LEARNING.means that lecturer x kan mengajar.discuss among friends je.lau ade pape soalan,boleh tanye b4 midsem n b4 final je;).and just imagine la,my feeling as spoonfeed student for all this while.lost.cam cicak putus ekor.cam x de tmpat nk depends on.cam langit dah runtuh.cam monyet x de tmpat nk bergantung.cam baju x de tmpat nk gantung.cam anak itik hilang mak.cam x de broadband!ade plak..hahaha..dah2.emosi x stabil*wizard background*arrrrrrrggggghhhhhhhhhhhh...im not makhlukhat.im just simple person yg susah sket nk trime ilmu.maybe sebab baynk dose n sometimes i just simply thought that ilmu is just for exam.such short minded person.bodoh.bodoh.bodoh.ape la aku ni.i need my life back.i want it back.SAYE X DE LIFE KAT CNI!tolongla..i really wanna stop living in this fantasy world.why i am like this???why?nande?purke?warggghhhhhhhhhhhhhh*nanges 1000 kali dah*mate dah cam kne sengat ngan tebuan:(.dah le dah start rabun balik.spek transformers plak susah nk cari!arghhh..watever la!bye!stop begging and nagging here.
ps:aku memang solute mathematicians.aku nk paham satu defition pn susah.yup.mmg susah.aku x tau camne aku terjerumus dlm kancah maths ni.argghhh.malas nk pkir..n sape2 yg ingt cts tu course yang low standard,ure totally nk mampos salah coz it is actually the real critical course other than medicine coz u have to understand,be creative and thinks out of the box compared to other course that required you to be memory machine if you want to succes.this cannot be done with mats.even khatam satu buku maths pun,but ure not fully combine with the soul of maths,u cant score in exam*except for certain makhlukhat(gifted person)*semua ini adalah luahan hati semata-mata dan x de mengena yg dah mati tapi kne mengena gak la ngan yang masih hidup;)..wargghhh..SAYE PUAS HATI SKANG.HILANG SATU KILO BEBAN;)